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Article of the
week!
Why
Don't We Have Sex Anymore?
By: Jeff Guthrie (2011)
As I ease into the
middle of my 40's, I discover that many of my
friends, my wife's friends and our couple friends
have sex less and less often until it has become an
onerous task that they perform a few times a year on
special days. Christ, I think I might lose it if we
go more than a week without doing it at least
once. And that is a slow week. On average, my wife
and I have sex two to three times a week. Some weeks
more, some less.
I think that this is a
healthy balance of day to day activities, time spent
with our son, working, playing and having sex.
That's right, I said having sex. I'd like to ask you
a question. When you were young, in your teens or
twenties and seriously dating your future spouse or
someone you thought was going to be the one or you
were just married, did you have sex more? Did you
enjoy it? Did you try to have sex almost any place,
any time and under almost any circumstances?
If you answered yes to
most or all of these questions then you can rest
assured that you were acting like a normal young
person in love. The only problem is, who said you
had to be young to continue doing all those fun
things? Who said we can't still have sex anywhere,
any time and under most conditions. Of course, we
have to be a little more careful with the kids
around and such, but why aren't we doing it the same
amount or close to the same as when we were young?
Observation has led me
to believe that as we reach our mid to late 30's, we
treat sex more and more like a chore instead of a
fun activity. Most of us are feeling older with less
energy; some of us are getting fatter and less able
to do serious calisthenics; and many of us get bored
with the same old thing. It becomes easier to just
not do it than to expend all that energy to do it.
Then, our body tends to forget how much fun it is
and sex is relegated to the old dusty closet, only
brought out when it's a special holiday or birthday.
By that time, after not
having sex for 6 months to a year, it is now hard to
do it because you are no longer familiar with your
partner; it usually makes you hurt somewhere on your
body; and it generally only lasts 5 or 6 minutes.
So, why the Hell did you do it in the first place?
Now you feel worse than when you started.
Guess what? If this is
you, or some semblance of you, you are not alone and
you are not unique. Honestly, I believe 50% or more
of couples older than 35 are in this exact same
boat. So, you can quit worrying that you are some
kind of freak. You are following the path that many
of your peers are also.
If you'd like to read
more, look for my next installment where I will talk
about how you can change this pattern and get back
into the groove. Sex is a crucial component of any
relationship and when you stop having sex, you tend
to draw away from your significant other without
even knowing it.
Article
Archive Walk the
Tightrope - a humorous look at the day to day interactions of a
married couple.
What
Sex Should Really Mean in a Relationship - a closer look at how
sex defines each person's role in a relationship and how we can move away
from being defined by our sex life.
The
Unsuspecting Dad - a humorous look at the changes men and women go
through when they discover that they are pregnant.
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